The next is what gives this semester its first kick in the ass: Pharmacology. Can I pass it? I think so. There aren't that many classes (on paper) that I don't think I could pass. I'm great at written work, taking exams, anything based on class/lecture (or online instruction). The 4.0 proves that. As I always say, that doesn't mean I'm smart, but just damn good at memorization and taking exams!
What is worrying me are my clinicals. This is where my classroom work will be tested. This is where I have to put all what I have learned to use. Problem? How much can I remember and am I right for this career? I do have some advantage from working as a CMA (Certified Medical Assistant) for years. But even that was just technical skills and no real knowledge behind it. (Not to mean that I was just doing skills and not knowing why I was doing it, but I only knew the basics behind things, not everything that I have to know now!)
With this set of clinicals, I will be freaking out on a daily basis. The work behind this class is paramount to the rest of my Nursing education. There are 3 portions to this Nursing class: Lecture 2 days a week, Campus Lab 1 day a week, and Clinical Lab 2 days a week. Behind all of that, I have to go to my clinical location on Sunday afternoons to "data collect" for my patients that I will be seeing the next 2 days. This information is to be presented to my clinical instructor in the morning. Also there is practice time. We will be taught a skill in Campus Lab and then are responsible for at least 2 hours of "independent" practice time within the week. Then we will be tested on those skills before we can use them in our own clinical practice.
Ryan asked me a question the other day. I answered him honestly. Here it is:
Ryan: "What are you afraid of?"
Me: Chuckling as I spoke, but I was serious when I answered, "Killing somebody!"
Yah, its that serious. And that is what I am freaking out over. They are so big on teaching us how important our job is and what happens when we screw up. Its scary, it really is. There is a huge part of me that is cynical and saying, Come on, they are just trying to weed out the weak, those who aren't serious, its just a scare tactic. And damn, it works.
Do I want to back out? Nope. I don't have a choice. I'm not one of the 20 year old students who have years to change their minds. I have people counting on me for this. Our family moved here for this. Pressure? You bet. Can I handle it? You bet. But don't think for one minute that this is easy for all of us. Without my husband and my parents, this just wouldn't be possible. That is one advantage I have over others, is that I don't have to worry about whether or not my kids are being taken care of. I KNOW that they are. They are happy and down right spoiled living here. (Not that they weren't spoiled when we lived downstate on our own, cause the amazing amount of toys that we have prove that they were!) Its not just issues with our boys either, there are dinners, which I make almost never cause my Mom handles all that and 99.9% of the housework. Yep, another advantage that I have. And I can never brag enough about Ryan. He works his butt off all the time and yet comes home and still is a very involved Daddy, is taking classes, and still likes to clean! (But let's not discount the guilt factor involved in all of this. That wears on me sometimes cause I feel like I don't do enough around here!)
See, I have lots of issues! But the most important thing is that everyone, including me, know how thankful I am for all this help!
So here is a rundown of my schedule for this semester:
Sunday: Data Collection at clinical site
Monday: 7am to 11am--Clinical Lab **this means I leave the house by 5:30am**
6pm to 9pm--Aging **Yes, I leave the house at 5:30am and don't get home till 10pm. This is where I am not sure I will take this class this semester or not.**
Tuesday: 1pm to 2pm--Pharmacology
3pm to 7:30pm--Clinical Lab
Wednesday: 10am to 12pm--Pharmacology
3pm to 5pm--Campus Lab
Thursday: 9am to 11am--Nursing Lecture
Friday: 9am to 10am--Nursing Lecture
**Add into any gaps or early days my independent practice time and study time and care plan write-ups. I am overwhelmed. And oh yeah, I don't even want to get into the price for gas for driving to the Soo 6 days a week. See why I am thankful and more at ease with my kids safe at home with Gramma, Brampa, and Daddy?!?!
Just imagine how hard it is for those friends of mine who have to work AND take the same schedule as me AND those people have kids as well! I am not saying my schedule is worse or better than those working fulltime, its just a different kind of hectic.
On another topic: our weather here has been much too warm. In the high 30's or low 40's. Our snow is gone in many places. There is good news in the forecast: colder weather and maybe an inch or two of the white stuff tonight.
I hope Aunt Barb is on the mend. Make sure you are taking it easy!! Just sit and enjoy your beautiful view. Watch out for that big cat on the loose..............(don't listen to those who say there are no big cats in the UP, cause we know they are here!)
Brendan will be 6 on Friday!
1 comment:
I admire how hard you are working in school and how you're able to balance it all out with your family life. I think it's just amazing and you're so fortunate to have a great support system.
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